A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She
spends$15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsagents to buy a
newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my
asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the
counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. While waiting
for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same
question.
He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when
I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It
sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your
bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity
gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to
feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and
he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them
against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his
hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible,
how could you tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in McDonald's."
