His Irish daughter had not been to the house for over five years. Upon
her return, her father cussed her:
"Where have you been all this time, you ingrate!? Why didn't you write
us? Not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you
call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your Mum through??!!"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a
prostitute..."
"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace
to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"
"OK, Dad, as you wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxury fur
coat, title deeds to a ten bed-room mansion, plus a savings account
certificate for two million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and
for you Daddy the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's
parked outside, plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a
breath)...and an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board
my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
"Now what was it you said you had become?"
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad! ... Sniff,
sniff"
"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said
"a Protestant." Come here and give your old man a hug!"
