What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury
Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless
you're not getting any.
What do you get when you put 50
lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.
What's the difference between a
girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.
What's the fastest way to a man's
heart?
Through his chest with a sharp
knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
Men can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find
men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have
boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new
husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still
excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have
no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase
cars they have no intention of driving.
What's the difference between a
porcupine and a Porsche?
A porcupine has the pricks on the
outside.
What's the difference between Beer
Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are
always under a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why do men find it difficult to make
eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic
Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Where does an Irish family go on
vacation?
A different pub.
What would you call it when an
Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at
the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a
southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of
the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.
How do you get a sweet little
80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old
lady to yell *BINGO*!
My, my, how times have changed.
Years ago...When 100 white men chased one black man, we called it the Ku
Klux Klan.
Today it’s called the PGA TOUR.
