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Submitted by: Jeffrey

Marriage (Part I)

A husband and wife have a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife, Cold As Ever.'"

"Yeah?" she replies.  "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband, Stiff At Last.'"

Marriage (Part II)

A man has six children and is so very proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night while at a party, the man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"

 His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

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